The Job Saving Method of Handling Conflicts With Your Boss
By Barbara Poole
“”How’s that working for ya?”" asks Dr. Phil McGraw on a regular basis.
He asks this of someone who repeats the same behavior over and over with the expectation that the outcome will somehow be different. Of course, it never is.
If you’re someone who wants to be able to handle disagreements with your boss, Dr. Phil would most likely tell you to stop whining and just do it. Yes, it takes courage. Yes, you may be nervous and feel you are putting your job on the line.
However, if you expect to get ahead in work or life in general, you will need to be able to step up and promote your ideas and opinions with confidence and persuasion.
This doesn’t mean you need to be disrespectful or step on the toes of others. It does mean you should be clear about your objectives and reasons for disagreement.
So the next time you disagree with your boss on his method or plan, consider these steps:
Step 1. Avoid pointing out that he is wrong. You’ll only put him on the defensive. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, especially the boss. The whole idea is to initiate a conversation so that you can explore other options and suggest alternatives.
Step 2. Ask to meet. Face to face is the only way to handle a disagreement with your boss. Arrange a time and place to sit down and talk. Don’t blindside him or her with an unexpected confrontation. Explain your intent is to fully understand what is being requested or suggested.
Step 3. Seek clarification in order to truly be able to discuss anything you need to ensure your full understanding. Find out what your boss wants to achieve – what is his ultimate goal – and the reason behind this particular goal. Ask open-ended questions and summarize your understanding. Listen carefully and address any of his concerns.
Sep 4. Don’t seek to prove the boss wrong. Don’t assume you have all the answers or that your way is automatically better than your boss’s. The goal should be to ensure his needs and expectations are met. Talk bottom line and positive outcomes, not implementation. The goal is to make your boss shine. Show him how that can be achieved even if it is via a different method than the one he has suggested.
Step 5. Be willing to compromise. Come to an agreement about the best way to proceed. And if ultimately that means he tells you he wants it done his way, understand that is his prerogative. Don’t become emotional, just follow his instructions to the best of your ability.
Part of your career growth is being able to be straightforward and professionally deal with conflict with others. Your boss included. Knowing how to handle disagreements about projects, processes, and methods helps you grow as an employee – and might keep you in that job until you decide – not your boss – that it’s time to move on.
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